Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
