i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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