omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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