Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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