wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
