Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
