Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We are all done wearing pants today
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
