Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
