i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I didn't notice because vodka
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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