uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
