can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
