Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
