When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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