So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Randomize
