She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
