I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
