I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
These tits shall not be calmed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
