Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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