she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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