After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How naked do you want me to be?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
