I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
