I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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