We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
