people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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