If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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