I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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