I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Panties = found
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