Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize