btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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