I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
