i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
