I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
