im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
