WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
