he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
