please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there was a trapeze. enough said
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
