Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
