Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
