it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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