When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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