my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
