Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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