FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
