I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
