i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
