It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
