I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
