So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
