I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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