My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
