Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
