AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
